I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ‘ME’

Writing 201 Assignment #4 Personal Reflection:

Surprised!!!

Don’t be. You all are in a relationship with yourself. Because until you won’t love yourself first, you can’t love anyone else in this world. If you want to be a favorite person of someones life, then you must be a favorite person of yourself. Self love, to me, means forgiving, nurturing, accepting, allowing for, honoring, and loving each and every part of you.

“It takes a really long time to realize this, but if you’re lucky you eventually see that you’ve got this life on this planet and you’re responsible for really loving yourself. And I mean really, really, really loving yourself. Love is never a corruption. I’m talking about loving yourself with a true love, a love that’s incorruptible and everlasting.”  ― C. JoyBell C.

I have a confession to make. I have a signboard in my bedroom just in front of my bed which says simply, “I’m awesome.” This might sound dumb, but you’d be surprised how often I forget that fact.

This is just one tool in my arsenal of tricks that I use to combat the depression and pain’s that come with a very painful Break up.

I’ve been in some pretty dark places and I’ve thought many times about putting an end to things when I’m having a hard time, but then, every day when I see that signboard and I’m reminded that I’m awesome.

Therapists and gurus talk about the power of positive self-talk. I’ll be the first to admit that I have as hard a time talking nicely to myself as anyone else, but I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t work.

Loving yourself can be particularly hard at times: a breakup, a rejection, a demotion at work, or when someone close says something mean. I know this all too well. In fact, the time of my depression I constantly think that people are making fun of me or plotting against me. Although not based in reality, that has me feeling worthless and outcast a good percentage of the time.

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

As an employee and a girl with a tendency of falling in love way too easily, I’m no stranger to rejection. If it’s not my boss rejecting my piece of work, it’s a handsome boy saying he sees me as more of a friend.

My point here is that I spend a fair amount under the impression that I’m no good, ugly, a bad person or just plain unworthy of happiness. I know where you’re coming from if you tell me you’re not feeling so hot.

In times like these, I usually find myself spending a good amount of time curled up on my bed listening to sad music. I have to force myself to do the things that would come naturally to some other people, such as showering or eating.

The point of all this, though, is that you have to force yourself to find your confidence again. Take all the time you need to feel sad after something bad happens, but at some point you have to realize that things need to change.

My go-to remedy is usually a hot shower, a good talk with myself, a nice walk and a good sleep. Usually by the morning I feel OK again. Then I see the signboard, reminding me that I’m awesome, and things start to look up.

Another major tool I use for loving myself is reminding myself how far I’ve come, from a confused and scared shy person to now as a counselor.

It may not seem like anything good is happening in your life, but change does happen, although it happens slowly and sometimes we don’t realize the extent of it.

“Life is a conversation with yourself. And who are you if not the eternal presence behind everything that is, was, and will be? Like this, the blow of each breeze and the beauty of each sunset can teach you about yourself, if you listen. If you hear.”  ― Vironika Tugaleva

The key is being patient and to keep working for the things that you want. Just remind yourself that eventually, at some point down the road, you’ll get there. In the meantime, taking time for yourself and focusing on how awesome you are can quell pretty much any major anxiety.

Loving yourself is an important part of enjoying and getting the most out of your life. It’s also crucial for getting and maintaining satisfying relationships with others. Loving yourself is mainly having self-respect, which is the only dependable way to create love in your own life. To be able to be loved, you must love and respect yourself as much as you do others.

Loving yourself is hard, I know. Just remember that no matter how bad you feel, there are people out there who think you are awesome. If they have a reason to think that, then there must be something great about you, even if you don’t realize it. Love and opportunities will come and go. The only thing that’s permanent in your life is YOU.

“Throughout the day, mentally keep repeating I love myself. Even when you are thinking of other things, keep this thought running as a loop in the background or the front of your mind… I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself… Don’t stop, no matter what you are doing. Even when talking with people, keep running that thought repetitively in your mind. After a month of this, you will be surprised how great your life turns out, all by itself”. David Cameron Gikandi