Happy New Year…

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There’s a long list of things that make us smile,
When you see a friend do something silly,
Or get away with a mischievous prank,
Perhaps, receiving praise for doing something good,
Each time you smile, it feels Wonderful.
This year, Hope you all have many reasons to smile every day.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 🙂

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I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ‘ME’

Writing 201 Assignment #4 Personal Reflection:

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Surprised!!!
Don’t be. You all are in a relationship with yourself. Because until you won’t love yourself first, you can’t love anyone else in this world. If you want to be a favorite person of someones life, then you must be a favorite person of yourself. Self love, to me, means forgiving, nurturing, accepting, allowing for, honoring, and loving each and every part of you.

“It takes a really long time to realize this, but if you’re lucky you eventually see that you’ve got this life on this planet and you’re responsible for really loving yourself. And I mean really, really, really loving yourself. Love is never a corruption. I’m talking about loving yourself with a true love, a love that’s incorruptible and everlasting.”  ― C. JoyBell C.

I have a confession to make. I have a signboard in my bedroom just in front of my bed which says simply, “I’m awesome.” This might sound dumb, but you’d be surprised how often I forget that fact.
This is just one tool in my arsenal of tricks that I use to combat the depression and pain’s that come with a very painful Break up.
I’ve been in some pretty dark places and I’ve thought many times about putting an end to things when I’m having a hard time, but then, every day when I see that signboard and I’m reminded that I’m awesome.
Therapists and gurus talk about the power of positive self-talk. I’ll be the first to admit that I have as hard a time talking nicely to myself as anyone else, but I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t work.
Loving yourself can be particularly hard at times: a breakup, a rejection, a demotion at work, or when someone close says something mean. I know this all too well. In fact, the time of my depression I constantly think that people are making fun of me or plotting against me. Although not based in reality, that has me feeling worthless and outcast a good percentage of the time.

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

As an employee and a girl with a tendency of falling in love way too easily, I’m no stranger to rejection. If it’s not my boss rejecting my piece of work, it’s a handsome boy saying he sees me as more of a friend.
My point here is that I spend a fair amount under the impression that I’m no good, ugly, a bad person or just plain unworthy of happiness. I know where you’re coming from if you tell me you’re not feeling so hot.
In times like these, I usually find myself spending a good amount of time curled up on my bed listening to sad music. I have to force myself to do the things that would come naturally to some other people, such as showering or eating.
The point of all this, though, is that you have to force yourself to find your confidence again. Take all the time you need to feel sad after something bad happens, but at some point you have to realize that things need to change.
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My go-to remedy is usually a hot shower, a good talk with myself, a nice walk and a good sleep. Usually by the morning I feel OK again. Then I see the signboard, reminding me that I’m awesome, and things start to look up.
Another major tool I use for loving myself is reminding myself how far I’ve come, from a confused and scared shy person to now as a counselor.
It may not seem like anything good is happening in your life, but change does happen, although it happens slowly and sometimes we don’t realize the extent of it.

“Life is a conversation with yourself. And who are you if not the eternal presence behind everything that is, was, and will be? Like this, the blow of each breeze and the beauty of each sunset can teach you about yourself, if you listen. If you hear.”  ― Vironika Tugaleva

The key is being patient and to keep working for the things that you want. Just remind yourself that eventually, at some point down the road, you’ll get there. In the meantime, taking time for yourself and focusing on how awesome you are can quell pretty much any major anxiety.
Loving yourself is an important part of enjoying and getting the most out of your life. It’s also crucial for getting and maintaining satisfying relationships with others. Loving yourself is mainly having self-respect, which is the only dependable way to create love in your own life. To be able to be loved, you must love and respect yourself as much as you do others.
Loving yourself is hard, I know. Just remember that no matter how bad you feel, there are people out there who think you are awesome. If they have a reason to think that, then there must be something great about you, even if you don’t realize it. Love and opportunities will come and go. The only thing that’s permanent in your life is YOU.
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“Throughout the day, mentally keep repeating I love myself. Even when you are thinking of other things, keep this thought running as a loop in the background or the front of your mind… I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself Don’t stop, no matter what you are doing. Even when talking with people, keep running that thought repetitively in your mind. After a month of this, you will be surprised how great your life turns out, all by itself”. David Cameron Gikandi

Missing You This Christmas….

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I can’t sleep, everything I ever knew is a lie without you.

I cant breathe when my heart is broke in two, there’s no beat without you.

You are not gone, but you are not here.

At least that’s the way it seems.

Missing you isn’t the hardest part.

Knowing that I once had you is.

I miss you a little,

I guess you could say, a little too much, a little too often, and a little more each day.

DOES AGE DIFFERENCE MATTERS IN A RELATIONSHIP????

WRITING 201 ASSIGNMENT 3 OPINION PIECE :

AGE DIFFERENCE
What if I told you that one day you will meet a girl who is unlike anyone else you’ve known. She will know all the right things to say, what makes you laugh, what turns you on, what drives you wild and best of all, you will do for her exactly what she does for you.

“When will I meet her?”

Well, let’s put it this way, she doesn’t even exist yet.”
― Lang Leav

 age

You’ve heard the saying “Age is nothing but a number.” You’ve also heard young women dismissed as gold diggers when they date older men. Since dating has no written rules, which can be a good thing, we have to experiment and judge for ourselves.

Dating an older or younger guy can be a challenge. A lot of the time it’s the remarks from those who disapprove (or don’t understand) that make it so difficult. Like any relationship, if it’s sincere and you’re both committed to making an effort, it can work

Sometimes, the age difference between two lovers makes no difference. But almost all the time, age difference can play a big role in the success of a relationship. Emotional maturity is the biggest hurdle in relationships with an age difference. It can play a huge part in deciding your fate as a couple. Younger lovers are almost always more restless, impatient and enthusiastic, while the older lovers are calmer and patient. How is it in your relationship? Is the difference in emotional maturity and experience driving a wedge in the romance?

But, does this age difference or the lack of it between spouses affect the relationship in anyway, which one is better? I may not  a relationship expert, but I am trying to find out the logic and pinpoint about which one is better, when the man is older than the women, or when the man and women are of equal ages, or when the woman is older than the man.

In the first situation, where the man is much older than the women. We have examples like- Saif-Kareena, Brad Pitt -Angelina Jolie and many more. And they are having a much healthy, happy and successful marriage/relationships.

Coming to the good things about having a much older men; they balance out the relationship completely because of his calmer, cooler attitude. Men have the great ability of decision making. The women can feel pampered one in this relationship. Another positive thing about this relationship is that they generally get away with any tantrum because the men is gentle and patient toward his women.

Now, coming to the negatives of this relationship, since the women are  much younger to her man, he never considers her grown up enough to get her involved in any major decision making.  She is almost the last one whose approval is needed if something of significance is planned. This is quite irritating, of course, they  don’t have much say in  such matters. Also, the man’s friend’s and wives/girlfriends are much, much older than her and in a gathering or get-together kind of function, she feels very uncomfortable because there aren’t many people who come close to her age group.

The second case scenario is where the man and women are both of the same age. Coming to the positives, if there is no age gap, most probably, the man and women will be having matching wavelengths in thinking and attitude. Since age won’t be a factor, these kinds of relationships can be friendship based. Decisions can be taken together and there may be a lot of common friends from each side to hang out with. Couples can understand each other’s psyche and point of view better in such marriages. In such marriages, spouses are able to cooperate with each other better and handle responsibilities of running the house equally. The compatibility quotient among same-age partners also may be high.

Coming to the negatives where there is no age difference between Couples, ego problems that crop up between partners creates problems. In such cases, what I think, is that, ego plays a major part and spouses are hesitant to buckle down or mellow down in a fight or squabble.

The third case scenario is where the women are older to the men, although, such marriages are rare even today, but most of them are successful. When a woman is older to a man in a relationship, she is able to handle the man sensitively and cleverly. Most of the time, the reigns and command of the marriage are in the woman’s hand and she pulls the strings effectively and efficiently to make the relationship work. In such relationships, the guy receives a lot of pampering and affection, and that makes him stick to his spouse for long. These women are sometimes called as a cougar, but that’s a bad word to describe women. The best example of an older wife and younger husband is that of Anjali and Sachin Tendulkar. I think theirs is an almost perfect marriage. There are no hitches and Sachin and Anjali’s marriage seems to be going great guns even after so many years.

In spite of pros and cons in each category detailed above, differences do crop up between couples and divorces/break up do happen. What works is the compatibility factor between the couples and the levels to which they are willing to compromise and adjust to make the relationship work. For relationships succeed, couples need to: connect emotionally, physically, and spiritually; feel free to be themselves, be vulnerable, and know they can make mistakes and be accepted unconditionally. Couples also need to have fun, grow, and evolve together.

Ultimately, it’s you who calls the shots on whom you date. Don’t think that you need to convince everyone of your love. While support from your loved ones is important, don’t dwell on every single remark you hear about the relationship — some people have nothing better to do than criticize. People connect with people of all sorts of ages for a variety of reasons. Don’t think that you’re supposed to be with someone your age. If you know the relationship is right (and legally), then stick with it.

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Which one of the above marriages/relationships do you think is the most feasible? Do voice your opinions too.