WRITING 201 ASSIGNMENT 3 OPINION PIECE :
What if I told you that one day you will meet a girl who is unlike anyone else you’ve known. She will know all the right things to say, what makes you laugh, what turns you on, what drives you wild and best of all, you will do for her exactly what she does for you.
“When will I meet her?”
Well, let’s put it this way, she doesn’t even exist yet.”
― Lang Leav
You’ve heard the saying “Age is nothing but a number.” You’ve also heard young women dismissed as gold diggers when they date older men. Since dating has no written rules, which can be a good thing, we have to experiment and judge for ourselves.
Dating an older or younger guy can be a challenge. A lot of the time it’s the remarks from those who disapprove (or don’t understand) that make it so difficult. Like any relationship, if it’s sincere and you’re both committed to making an effort, it can work
Sometimes, the age difference between two lovers makes no difference. But almost all the time, age difference can play a big role in the success of a relationship. Emotional maturity is the biggest hurdle in relationships with an age difference. It can play a huge part in deciding your fate as a couple. Younger lovers are almost always more restless, impatient and enthusiastic, while the older lovers are calmer and patient. How is it in your relationship? Is the difference in emotional maturity and experience driving a wedge in the romance?
But, does this age difference or the lack of it between spouses affect the relationship in anyway, which one is better? I may not a relationship expert, but I am trying to find out the logic and pinpoint about which one is better, when the man is older than the women, or when the man and women are of equal ages, or when the woman is older than the man.
In the first situation, where the man is much older than the women. We have examples like- Saif-Kareena, Brad Pitt -Angelina Jolie and many more. And they are having a much healthy, happy and successful marriage/relationships.
Coming to the good things about having a much older men; they balance out the relationship completely because of his calmer, cooler attitude. Men have the great ability of decision making. The women can feel pampered one in this relationship. Another positive thing about this relationship is that they generally get away with any tantrum because the men is gentle and patient toward his women.
Now, coming to the negatives of this relationship, since the women are much younger to her man, he never considers her grown up enough to get her involved in any major decision making. She is almost the last one whose approval is needed if something of significance is planned. This is quite irritating, of course, they don’t have much say in such matters. Also, the man’s friend’s and wives/girlfriends are much, much older than her and in a gathering or get-together kind of function, she feels very uncomfortable because there aren’t many people who come close to her age group.
The second case scenario is where the man and women are both of the same age. Coming to the positives, if there is no age gap, most probably, the man and women will be having matching wavelengths in thinking and attitude. Since age won’t be a factor, these kinds of relationships can be friendship based. Decisions can be taken together and there may be a lot of common friends from each side to hang out with. Couples can understand each other’s psyche and point of view better in such marriages. In such marriages, spouses are able to cooperate with each other better and handle responsibilities of running the house equally. The compatibility quotient among same-age partners also may be high.
Coming to the negatives where there is no age difference between Couples, ego problems that crop up between partners creates problems. In such cases, what I think, is that, ego plays a major part and spouses are hesitant to buckle down or mellow down in a fight or squabble.
The third case scenario is where the women are older to the men, although, such marriages are rare even today, but most of them are successful. When a woman is older to a man in a relationship, she is able to handle the man sensitively and cleverly. Most of the time, the reigns and command of the marriage are in the woman’s hand and she pulls the strings effectively and efficiently to make the relationship work. In such relationships, the guy receives a lot of pampering and affection, and that makes him stick to his spouse for long. These women are sometimes called as a cougar, but that’s a bad word to describe women. The best example of an older wife and younger husband is that of Anjali and Sachin Tendulkar. I think theirs is an almost perfect marriage. There are no hitches and Sachin and Anjali’s marriage seems to be going great guns even after so many years.
In spite of pros and cons in each category detailed above, differences do crop up between couples and divorces/break up do happen. What works is the compatibility factor between the couples and the levels to which they are willing to compromise and adjust to make the relationship work. For relationships succeed, couples need to: connect emotionally, physically, and spiritually; feel free to be themselves, be vulnerable, and know they can make mistakes and be accepted unconditionally. Couples also need to have fun, grow, and evolve together.
Ultimately, it’s you who calls the shots on whom you date. Don’t think that you need to convince everyone of your love. While support from your loved ones is important, don’t dwell on every single remark you hear about the relationship — some people have nothing better to do than criticize. People connect with people of all sorts of ages for a variety of reasons. Don’t think that you’re supposed to be with someone your age. If you know the relationship is right (and legally), then stick with it.
Which one of the above marriages/relationships do you think is the most feasible? Do voice your opinions too.