DOES AGE DIFFERENCE MATTERS IN A RELATIONSHIP????

WRITING 201 ASSIGNMENT 3 OPINION PIECE :

AGE DIFFERENCE
What if I told you that one day you will meet a girl who is unlike anyone else you’ve known. She will know all the right things to say, what makes you laugh, what turns you on, what drives you wild and best of all, you will do for her exactly what she does for you.

“When will I meet her?”

Well, let’s put it this way, she doesn’t even exist yet.”
― Lang Leav

 age

You’ve heard the saying “Age is nothing but a number.” You’ve also heard young women dismissed as gold diggers when they date older men. Since dating has no written rules, which can be a good thing, we have to experiment and judge for ourselves.

Dating an older or younger guy can be a challenge. A lot of the time it’s the remarks from those who disapprove (or don’t understand) that make it so difficult. Like any relationship, if it’s sincere and you’re both committed to making an effort, it can work

Sometimes, the age difference between two lovers makes no difference. But almost all the time, age difference can play a big role in the success of a relationship. Emotional maturity is the biggest hurdle in relationships with an age difference. It can play a huge part in deciding your fate as a couple. Younger lovers are almost always more restless, impatient and enthusiastic, while the older lovers are calmer and patient. How is it in your relationship? Is the difference in emotional maturity and experience driving a wedge in the romance?

But, does this age difference or the lack of it between spouses affect the relationship in anyway, which one is better? I may not  a relationship expert, but I am trying to find out the logic and pinpoint about which one is better, when the man is older than the women, or when the man and women are of equal ages, or when the woman is older than the man.

In the first situation, where the man is much older than the women. We have examples like- Saif-Kareena, Brad Pitt -Angelina Jolie and many more. And they are having a much healthy, happy and successful marriage/relationships.

Coming to the good things about having a much older men; they balance out the relationship completely because of his calmer, cooler attitude. Men have the great ability of decision making. The women can feel pampered one in this relationship. Another positive thing about this relationship is that they generally get away with any tantrum because the men is gentle and patient toward his women.

Now, coming to the negatives of this relationship, since the women are  much younger to her man, he never considers her grown up enough to get her involved in any major decision making.  She is almost the last one whose approval is needed if something of significance is planned. This is quite irritating, of course, they  don’t have much say in  such matters. Also, the man’s friend’s and wives/girlfriends are much, much older than her and in a gathering or get-together kind of function, she feels very uncomfortable because there aren’t many people who come close to her age group.

The second case scenario is where the man and women are both of the same age. Coming to the positives, if there is no age gap, most probably, the man and women will be having matching wavelengths in thinking and attitude. Since age won’t be a factor, these kinds of relationships can be friendship based. Decisions can be taken together and there may be a lot of common friends from each side to hang out with. Couples can understand each other’s psyche and point of view better in such marriages. In such marriages, spouses are able to cooperate with each other better and handle responsibilities of running the house equally. The compatibility quotient among same-age partners also may be high.

Coming to the negatives where there is no age difference between Couples, ego problems that crop up between partners creates problems. In such cases, what I think, is that, ego plays a major part and spouses are hesitant to buckle down or mellow down in a fight or squabble.

The third case scenario is where the women are older to the men, although, such marriages are rare even today, but most of them are successful. When a woman is older to a man in a relationship, she is able to handle the man sensitively and cleverly. Most of the time, the reigns and command of the marriage are in the woman’s hand and she pulls the strings effectively and efficiently to make the relationship work. In such relationships, the guy receives a lot of pampering and affection, and that makes him stick to his spouse for long. These women are sometimes called as a cougar, but that’s a bad word to describe women. The best example of an older wife and younger husband is that of Anjali and Sachin Tendulkar. I think theirs is an almost perfect marriage. There are no hitches and Sachin and Anjali’s marriage seems to be going great guns even after so many years.

In spite of pros and cons in each category detailed above, differences do crop up between couples and divorces/break up do happen. What works is the compatibility factor between the couples and the levels to which they are willing to compromise and adjust to make the relationship work. For relationships succeed, couples need to: connect emotionally, physically, and spiritually; feel free to be themselves, be vulnerable, and know they can make mistakes and be accepted unconditionally. Couples also need to have fun, grow, and evolve together.

Ultimately, it’s you who calls the shots on whom you date. Don’t think that you need to convince everyone of your love. While support from your loved ones is important, don’t dwell on every single remark you hear about the relationship — some people have nothing better to do than criticize. People connect with people of all sorts of ages for a variety of reasons. Don’t think that you’re supposed to be with someone your age. If you know the relationship is right (and legally), then stick with it.

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Which one of the above marriages/relationships do you think is the most feasible? Do voice your opinions too.

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25 thoughts on “DOES AGE DIFFERENCE MATTERS IN A RELATIONSHIP????

  1. Awh Nimmi, I love it. Special topic! I really enjoy reading it and I basically agree with your opinions. I won’t say which one is the most feasible relationship here, but if you ask me, I personally prefer the same age relationship. I don’t know but I think I feel more comfortable with the friendship based relationship. I agree with you about ego and problems there, but I think that’s the interesting part 😀 Sorry, but I’m a bit childish and have no much experiences in relationship, so I can’t say much. These are just my opinions 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Greetings @nimmipavithran,

    Your post is very interesting. I have no knowledge about what your dating culture is like, as well as, the dating culture as a norm in other lands. Perhaps it depends what the couple decides. It is only fair though, that the motive behind dating is to get to know each other better. A level headed woman would need to know: his real name, where he lives, if he is married, if he has children, a little about his background, what he does for a living, his hobbies, his dislikes, and his opinion on sex and marriage. Etc.

    A woman of character will always look for a man of character. A woman of character is not one with a low self-worth period, but, rather, one who values herself, and this is what the person (her date) will soon come to realize, when she shares her views on sex and marriage with him. Women of character are found in every stratum of society, but they are rear. I salute them. They are good role models in society; especially to our youths and young adults.

    Concerning committed marriage relationships between “old” men 50 years and over, and young women, and with an age gap say, beyond 8 years, there could be serious problems on the male’s part within the next 15-20 years; other things being well. While I am not against older men marrying young women of age, I must warn “old” men that there is little wisdom in doing so save and except, that they don’t have children, and they want to leave their wealth for the wife and/or kids. I want to suspect that some for the want real excitement, for as long as they can feel their strength, prefer a younger woman, and they do not care what happens to them afterwards.

    Finally, let us be realistic, a wise choice would be someone 1-5 years, either younger or older than the “old” man.

    Sincerely,
    E…w58

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Sir,
      Reply to the comment which you have posted in the commons-
      “Ultimately a relationship comes down to how two people relate to one another….” what I mean here is how two people are connected with each other. I am talking here about an emotional connection. It’s not agreeing to go out or doing the stuff together, however, It’s about the mutual understanding and respect for one another.
      Hope I cleared your doubt 🙂 Thank you @elderwil58, for your time. Appreciated 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Greetings @Nimmi

        I thank you kindly for your patience, and response. But what you said at first is right so don’t be afraid to say it, or to write it. I say this because not one of us is perfect, and people are free to live their lives. To be honest with you, I had no doubts. I just wanted more details…I checked on dating, and i discover that either the woman or the man say what they expect or do not expect before they meet . So it all boiled down to what you said at first. “Ultimately a relationship comes down to how two people relate to one another….”

        Sincerely,

        e…w58

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hello elderwil58,
        Hope you like my effort. Anyway, Thank you so much for your effort in this topic too. And I guess I have provided you with the extra details which you are looking for 🙂

        Like

  3. Heyy Nimmi, I actually don’t think any group is more successful than the other because like you said they all got their pros and cons 😉 . Personally I have no problem with age group be it 5, 20 or non existent. I think we are all made in different ways, with different likes and attractions. Some are attracted to older, others to younger ones. Some like fun lovers others prefer maturity and so I believe either way, It is okay. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I don’t think that one type of relationship is inherently more feasible than another. Different people have different motives, needs and preferences. This will reflect in everything from the physical appearance, to the age, to the type of work their partner does. And no matter how similar or how different, a relationship will always require sincere effort, understanding and compromise to some degree or another. The key being to balance the motives, needs and preferences so that either or both parties do not end up losing themselves in the process.

    Like

    • Thank you so much for your opinion on this. I agree with you that in a relationship(what ever the type may be), both the parties should require their sincere effort and understanding for each other without losing their own selves.

      Like

  5. I was married to a guy close to my age, then a guy 10 years older, and am now in a relationship with someone 8 years younger. I think there is truth in what you say, but ultimately it boils down to the two people involved and the level of maturity and commitment. My experience with the older guy was that he became condescending and controlling. I am enjoying my present situation because 1) he is a great guy and 2) I am able to relate to him sensitively and clevering as you say, and do give him alot of pampering and affection, although he does the same for me in a different way. I don’t think this relationship would be as good as it is if I hadn’t had previous experience.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you shared your experience with us. Thank you so very much for sharing. Yes, at the end of the day, what matter the most is the commitment and respect for each other. As I already said above ‘ Age is just a number’.
      So, enjoy the relationship.
      Best wishes for both of you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Sarah & Ed

    A glass apple shines in light so pale you
    Hardly remember to breathe.

    Twenty three seconds later you notice
    A car noise and remember it’s Wednesday.

    Uncomfortable plastic chairs pass for décor
    At cafes that lure sweaty walkers.

    Banter floats up four stories in time to
    Stop you from crying. Who’s out there?

    You pull on some shorts and fly down
    Stairs, forget the bad knee. Human contact.

    It’s Sarah. She’s lost her hat. She sits
    Politely waiting. You walk slowly.

    She walks slower. Finally you stop.
    You think about stroking her.

    You think. You think. Which stops
    You from crying. Think on young man.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you soon much for visiting today it means a lot to know there are people from great distances who appreciate my work and words. It’s bloggers like you that fuel my fire. Thank you again many blessings peace

    Liked by 1 person

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