What Will People Say???

self esteem

Once the basic needs of food, shelter and security are delt with human beings look for one more critical need—before aiming for the highest level of self-actualisation—and that is the fundamental need to be liked and be held in high esteem by others.
Indeed, to be accepted and valued by others is a driving force that influences most of our actions. From an early age, a child is made conscious of the need to be liked by others. “Don’t be greedy,what will uncle say?”, “come on, you don’t want others to think you are a naughty girl, do you?”.
Children carry forth this need for approval into adulthood, making critical choices of education, careers, even love and marriage with an eye on the approval meter. ‘What will people say’ become such a huge issue that many an ambition, out-of-the-box thought or intutive plan is sacrificed at this altar. Those who can overcome this need are the solitary marchers, the mavericks, the real achievers.
At the rick of alienating other siblings, a child vies to be liked and admired best by his or her parents. To become the teacher’s pet , a student willingly sacrifices the trust and friendship of classmates. In order to win approvel and acceptence from peers, adolescents indulge in acts of revolt . As age advances, the desire to be liked and approved by others becomes more pronounce, especially amongest those who lack self-esteem, and have a constant desire to be reassured that their life has been worth something. This trait is commenly observed amongest famous people who live on a diet of admiration and adulation. As age advances and their popularity decline, celebrities make desperate attempts to retain their status in eyes of others, failing which, they slip into depression or alcoholism, which allows them to dwell in a fanciful world as life ebbs away.
A critical component is self-esteem, distinguish between ‘lower’ esteem and ‘higher’ esteem, the former being the need to be liked by others, and the latter being respect for one’s own self. To achieve the higher self-esteem, one needs to turn focus from others to one’s own self. From outside to within. What others think of you becomes irrelevent as you start trusting your own judgment and strictly following your own judgment and strictly following your own code of ethics. From a follower you become a role model, from an “also was”, you move to “the one”!
This dosen’t however mean that if you develop self-esteem, you do not care for others. A certain amount societal approval is always necessary. We all love to be liked, and so, we inculcate pleasant manners and behaviour towards that end. We smile at another,hoping for a smile back; we help others, hoping one day to be helped back. And it is these niceties that make life worth living.
ATTRACT PEOPLE BY YOUR WIDTH OF SUBSTANCE, DEPTH OF KNOWLEDGE, STRENGTH OF MORAL FIBRE AND VAST WISDOM, RATHER THAN BY MAKING SHALLOW GESTURES THAT PEOPLE CAN SEE THROUGH EASILY.
what is important is to understand that there are plenty of ways to make people notice/like you and seek your company. Actions, critical decisions and your behaviour must never be dictated purely by what others will think of you. No matter how you mould yourself to the casts set by others, the world will still admire the man who marches to his own drum and follows his own set of rules and principles; the one who maintains his dignity and dosen’t spreed himself too thin in an attempt to please the world. Attract people by your width of substance, depth of knowledge, strength of moral fibre, and vast wisdom, rather than by making shallow gestures that people can see through.
What matters at the end of the day is–Did you achieve your full potential? Did you live with dignity and self-respect? Did you stay true to your own principles? If yes, don’t worry about others liking or disliking you. Your own self-esteem will be so high that it will attract the greatest regard from all.
Think about it……

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