Relationships are so complicated; sometimes we are just playing them out in our minds and hearts, without realising they have no reality beyond that. Two people could be relating to each other on different wavelengths without understanding that the notes they strike are at variance with each other.
‘I love you’ is always more important than ‘you love me’. You would imagine that sometimes it’s better not to put relationship through a reality check; they may receive a rude shock that could probably shatter, and certainly crack them.
If relationships are so self-oriented, any meaningful relationship entered into has to play itself out within a mutual space, where two people voluntarily allow the entrance of another and choose to open up to that person. Every relationship involves a great degree of trust, as well as vulnerability and intimacy. The healthiest relationships are those where, as trust builds over time, we are no longer scared of exposing and entrusting our vulnerabilities into the care of our significant other. This then becomes the basis of a steady, lasting tie.
What then emerges strongly is our voluntary acceptance of sense of duty and sincerity towards another, our determination to consider someone our own and so, go out on a limb for them because we consider him or her “mine”.
A relationship is a sacred trust between two people. People enter a relationship when they allow their hearts and souls to open up and touch each other. This need for exclusivity, is what creates issues of distrust in a world were we all reach out to several people, each of whom we may share a special bond with. Your intimate space with your sister could be threatened by the space you share with a friend and vice versa.
You cannot just close your eyes and demand trust. How can trust be built up in relationships? Trust is the shakiest and the first of our vulnerabilities to fall. It can only be built with care, patience and time, and requires investment from both parties.
A message that is send to you exclusively by a friend holds much meaning than a copy/paste job sent to several. A friend who greets you with a wide grin and shared confidences sends a thrill of pleasure, till you note he shares the same with all. You cannot possibly strike the same note with everyone you meet. To be one of many in what you consider an exclusive space diminishes that relation for you.
Love is about trusting another enough to allow the barriers of your heart and soul to fall. It is also about giving your significant other the trust that you will protect the vulnerabilities they thus expose to you. this is best done in an environment of trust where we make the effort to build confidence and maintain an exclusive, sacred space for our loved ones.